A healthy relationship is key to a healthy mind – so it’s important to come to terms when things aren’t that great. Here, author and professional counsellor April Kirkwood shares her four points on acting happier than you really are in your relationship
- ‘You act different in social situations when you are out with your significant other. You become more quiet and your comments are premeditated as you are keenly aware that you are being watched and judged. The cliché, ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’ has become your ‘go to’ guide to avoiding conflicts in social settings and keeping the peace.’
2. ‘It’s common for those with problems to drink alcohol more regularly than those who are content with their lives and those in it. You may drink more hoping to dull the pain of heartache desiring to avoid thinking about it, even just for a while. The strategy is ‘if I can’t feel it I don’t have to deal with it.’ At that point, isolation escalates and back handed comments often pop out of your mouth shocking onlookers tipping them off that something is wrong between you and your S.O.’
3. ‘You now eagerly recommend your mate to get out more, try new things, and be with their friends. At one time in your relationship, you would kick and scream if they wanted to go away for a weekend with their pals. Not now! It’s because you have no desire to be in the same room as them. Absence is freeing for the broken spirit letting you be alone where you no longer need to pretend. The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. Your thoughts murmur, ‘Go anywhere, just go.’ At family events and social situations you end up in the other room rarely touching, joking, or moving closer to them.’
4. ‘Holidays have become run of the mill and you say that it’s just easier for your S.O. to pick out their own gift. Cards, flowers, and little text messages are non-existent. The passion is gone but you say it’s just marriage and all of these holidays are only marketing ploys.’
For more from April, visit her Facebook page.
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